Saul's Spear: A Study in Fear

Psychologist Susan David says, “Courage is not the absence for fear; courage is fear walking.” I’ve been reading through the story of David in book of 1 Samuel lately. David knows the struggle with fear firsthand. As a shepherd, he faced down both a lion and bear. As a young man, he struck down a giant. Sadly, David’s greatest threat was his predecessor, King Saul. Because Saul knows his days as king are numbered and that another is destined for his throne, he’s increasingly paranoid of any potential rival: including David.

The text says, “Saul …  was prophesying in his house, while David was playing the lyre, as he usually did. Saul had a spear in his hand and he hurled it, saying to himself, “I’ll pin David to the wall.” But David eluded him twice” (1 Sam. 18:10b-11). I’ve worked for some temperamental bosses, but none have ever tried to kill me. Twice.

If I’m David, I think I’d respectfully resign after Saul’s first throw. That David remains in harm’s way is a testament to his tenacity and resilience. In fact, David marries Saul’s daughter, further tightening his bond with the family.

But Saul keeps trying to kill David. He sends David into battles he hopes he’ll lose, he commands his son and attendants to kill him, and when these plans fail, he tries again himself. 1 Sam. 19:9b-10 says, “While David was playing the lyre, Saul tried to pin him to the wall with his spear, but David eluded him as Saul drove the spear into the wall. That night David made good his escape.”

With the help of the prince, Jonathan, David flees the palace and the city. He spends years on the run: constantly moving through the wilderness, hiding in caves, desperate to stay one step ahead of Saul.  In one episode, Saul brings 3000 men into the desert to find and destroy David.

David sees them coming and waits for nightfall to creep into the camp with his friend Abishai. They locate the sleeping Saul and Abishai tells David: “This is your moment. Kill Saul now. We can all go back home and you’ll become king.” David won’t bite. He replies, “As surely as the Lord lives, the Lord himself will strike him, or his time will come and he will die, or he will go into battle and perish. But the Lord forbid that I should lay a hand on the Lord’s anointed. Now get the spear and water jug that are near his head, and let’s go.”  So David took the spear and water jug near Saul’s head, and they left (1 Sam. 26:10-12).

What does David take? Saul’s spear. The very weapon Saul longed to use against David, maybe even the same spear David dodged years earlier. It’s a symbol of Saul’s power and rage.

What would you do if you were holding Saul’s spear?

I heard of a father whose son was killed with a family firearm. When law enforcement returned the gun to the dad, he asked them to destroy it, the melt it down, so it never hurt another person again. All David needs to do is break the spear shaft to defang Saul.

He doesn’t.

Or he could keep it and use it for his own safety. At the very least, this would keep it out of Saul’s hand.

He doesn’t do this either.

After calling Saul from a distance, David confronts him for his murderous campaign. In a rare moment of humility and self-awareness, Saul both repents to and blesses David. Then David does the unthinkable with the spear.

He gives it back.

“Here is the king’s spear,” David answered. “Let one of your young men come over and get it.  The Lord rewards everyone for their righteousness and faithfulness. The Lord delivered you into my hands today, but I would not lay a hand on the Lord’s anointed. As surely as I valued your life today, so may the Lord value my life and deliver me from all trouble.” (1 Sam. 26:22-24)

Is there a chance David’s choice will come back to haunt him? Absolutely.

Even so, David believes Saul’s life rests in God’s hands, not David’s. And he believes his own life rests in God’s hands, not Saul’s. That spear? It might as well be a toothpick. Even though it’s a very real symbol of past trauma, it holds no power over his present or his future.

What is Saul’s spear for you? What object or moment or scenario is trying to squeeze the life and hope out you? Is it possible for you, like David, to pick it up, hold it, strip it of its power and hand it back?