The (High) Road Less Traveled
Someone will offend you this week. It won’t be because they’re unusually cruel and it won’t be because you’re incredibly fragile. Insults, slights, offenses and betrayals happen because we’re human and we spend our days bumping (either IRL or on our social channels) into other humans. And humans are messy creatures.
So, the question isn’t: Will someone offend me?
The question is: How will I respond when they do?
You have a few options:
- Pretend it didn’t happen. Ignore it and stuff the hurt way down. For me, this always backfires. It’s like trying to hold a beach ball under the water. It’s only a matter of time before that hurt resurfaces, in unpredictable ways.
- Respond in kind. This is the scorched earth, fight fire with fire, and eye for an eye approach. Again, this one hasn’t served me well either. It usually leads to a new round of hurt, deep seated resentment and a ripple effect that draws other people into the drama.
- Take the high road. Resist the urge to lash out. Pause to determine what, if any, response, gets you where you want to go and who you want to be. You get to choose whether you let your initial instincts and impulses determine your behavior or whether you’ll move towards the kind of person you want to be.
‘The high road’ is kind of an abstract image. Apparently, the British use of the phrase means “to take the main or most direct route… City streets that are the main arteries are called high streets, more circuitous or back streets are called low streets” (https://grammarist.com/idiom/take-the-high-road/).
Sure, we can be catty and petty with our snide remarks and whispered gossip, we can throw shade online and in person and, for a minute, it feels good. But only for a minute. Like Taco Bell.
I can inhale three soft taco supremes and a Nachos BellGrande with a large Mountain Dew and it’s fantastic. Until about fifteen minutes after the last bite, when my body says, “That was a poor life choice.”
The low road, the path of quick clapbacks and sweet revenge, is an easy one. But it never gets me where I want to go. Because the path we choose, especially when we’re hurt, determines the person we become. Travel the low road frequently enough and you’ll find you’re becoming a self-centered, suspicious, short-tempered, vindicative, “believe-the-worst about everyone” kind of person.